BEYOND THE PAIL

On or about September 21, 2015 I was driving eastbound on the 118 Freeway, east of the Balboa Blvd. on-ramp, when I unavoidably struck a white plastic pail (perhaps a paint container) in the roadway. It lodged under my car, where it made a grating sound as it rubbed against the pavement.

I tried to dislodge it by swerving, to the probable annoyance of drivers behind me, but the pail remained stuck in place. 

I pulled onto the shoulder of the freeway, stopped and got out of the car. Passing traffic seemed much too close for comfort, so I retreated to the safety of the driver’s seat and closed the door. Pulling ahead, I found a place where the shoulder was wider. I parked as far from the roadway as possible without rolling down the side of the sloping shoulder to the bushes below. Again, I got out of the car.

Staying close to the left front fender, I crept forward, knelt at the front of the car and peered beneath the bumper. There was the pail, lodged next to the left front wheel.

I realized that the pail might eventually damage the tire or wires under the car. Reaching under the front bumper, I tried to pull the pail loose, but without success.

Standing, I tried several times to whack the pail loose with my foot. No luck.

Then I had a terrible thought: What if, while whacking at the pail with my foot, I should lose my balance and fall back onto the roadway? I would have been crushed by oncoming traffic.

On my death certificate, the cause of death would have read, “Kicked the bucket.”